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Friday, 11 December 2015

Confidence.



Got my cup of tea in a festive mug, listening to Mumford and Sons because ever since I saw them live two weeks ago my love for them has grown even more. I'm in the most comfiest PJ's ready to get all personal with you, I haven't done that in a while and this is a subject which has played on my mind on repeat over the last 12 months.

I've found it impossible to talk about this subject, knowing what to say and whether it's what I want to say or whether I'm just babbling away to make up the characters.. who knows! Anyway let's talk, let's talk about confidence

At this moment Mumford and Sons 'Awake My Soul' plays and the lyrics 
'In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die and where you invest your love, you invest your life' 

Now some people are confident. like nothing really phases them and they're able to pick themselves up after a bump and just continue like nothing ever happened. Some people are not so confident and not even continuous assurance and support can build their confidence up. And others are in the in middle, some things they're really confident about and others they're not so much. I don't have a clue where abouts I sit on that confidence line and I think I would like to be somebody who is confident, without becoming an ass basically.

People assume I'm a confidence, little would you know that 2015 has tested my confidence to it's limits and I'm not really all that confident at all

I worked in a job at the start of the year that left me coming out the other hand unable to believe in myself and my ability to do a professional job, I couldn't muster the confidence to apply for jobs in the arts anymore and so basically I went full-time at a pub because I was just good at it and it gave me the money I needed. I just went into this little hole of just accepting work for the sake of it instead of doing something I am more than capable of doing

I definitely have my friends, family and in particular Jordan for pulling me out of the void I was in. I knew I needed a break from the arts, to re-analyse what I wanted to do with my career and where I saw myself. That's when I became a volunteer for UDance2015 in Plymouth. It was the absolute best decision I made. I found myself surrounded by people who were as passionate about the Dance sector as I was me! I don't know what happened but I came back from the weekend with a new spark inside of me and real motivation to give it a proper go. So I started applying for new teaching jobs and putting my faith back into what I did

Confidence is a funny thing really. I still stumble over my feet some days. It's been a long process of not being so hard on myself if a session hasn't gone particularly well and acknowledging to myself that i'm bloody good at what I do. I've really threw myself into growing my confidence with what I do and it's been so important

I've worked increasingly hard to get to this point. It hasn't been easy and I still have days/nights where I curl up into a ball under my duvet and believe I can't do it

Let me tell you, you can

I hope if your feeling a bit low on the confidence front or have sometime during this year you understand that we all have at some point. Just don't let it drag you down for months or even forever. We're only human after all and can't specifically be confident and amazing at everything, that would be awesome but so unrealistic so just remember that your great at what you do. No matter what that is, whether it's working in a restaurant as a waitress or your a full-time blogger just know that you can achieve anything that you want to.

I've had to stop because I'm just rambling now and that's not cool.
I really hope you enjoyed this post and i'll chat to you soon!

thanks for reading,

5 comments:

  1. I needed this post! Thankyou!
    I'm not confident at all, and I'd like to be, but I'm getting there slowly!

    Amy x
    amysthoughtsblog.blogspot.com

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  2. lovely post :) The important thing to remember that if you are feeling down know it will pass. Confidence takes time to build but you can build it! You're very strong, well done on how far you've come! x

    www.littlekaatie.com

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  3. Awh this is lovely Emmie. And you are BRILLIANT at everything you do. I always assume people are loads more confident and assured than me but I think its not always the case. Also I'm so jealous that you saw mumford and sons!
    Hannah xx

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  4. Thanks for sharing, in a previous job I was passionate and felt confident whereas I've struggled a lot since starting my new job in July and sometimes feel that I've lost my voice to stand up for what I feel is right. But I keep turning up, the good days help get me through.

    Steph x

    imspirationsandme.blogspot.co.uk

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  5. This was such a lovely read! It really struck a cord with me because I totally relate. I feel like growing up I've always had voids where Im just so unconfident but then I'll have brief periods of total happiness in myself. I think its taken me a while to rely on myself and learnt to try and have confidence in my abilities XX

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